Not All Who Wander Are Lost

July 25, 2017

"Not all who wander are lost" is a line from the poem All that is gold does not glitter, written by J. R. R. Tolkien for The Lord of the Rings. 

That famous quote is thought-provoking, and it should be. 

I know that to be transparent with what is in my heart today will cause me to point fingers at mainstream Christianity. That is not easy for me because I am part of that family and deeply love my Christian brothers and sisters. But, I am still rebellious enough to speak up when I think something needs to be said. 

I have been in need of radical grace, and I've received plenty. I have devoted my life to sharing God's crazy love and radical grace with those that many won't consider stepping out to befriend. I thank God for this great desire because, honestly-- it's kept me grounded in reality.   

There were a few years when all I did was read the Word, attend church, and a ton of Christian outings and activities-- I became a product of that circle. Not that it is a bad thing-- not at all, but something takes place when you GO into the world and walk with those who live there. There is something to be said about doing life with people who don't look like you. I'm so grateful for that.   And yet--- many of those in Christian circles would say this is a slippery slope.   They view the world as a "mission trip" and an agenda to save the lost, not befriend them. 

Define lost. The dictionary says this: Lost is, 1. Unable to find one's way. 2. Denoting something that has been taken away or cannot be recovered.  This bothers me. It bothers me a LOT.   The problem isn't so much the interpretation of "reaching the lost" as much as it is our mentality, the vocabulary, and agenda we embrace. In embracing this agenda, we lose sight of authenticity in relationships and establishing trust through unabandoned friendship in exchange for the mission of saving the lost. 

Boy, we get it wrong. So, how do you "save the lost"? Tell me. Because I will tell you that when I was living in the world, if you had called me "lost," I probably would have punched you. It's such a demeaning label. And yet I hear it from Christians all the time. This past week, I did a google search and ended up on a church website that said this: The mission of this outreach is to minister to women that have fallen victim to the adult entertainment industry. "Fallen victim."  Ouch. I get it; I've been part of this faith long enough to know that these folks mean well-- but really? The dancers I know don't believe they are victims. Am I saying that some are not? Am I saying that exploitation doesn't exist, or bad things don't happen to these women? NO! I am not saying that. What I am saying is to choose your vocabulary more carefully.   

This language is some kind of internal language that those not part of your club will not understand. It's a demeaning phrase, even if not intentional. Seriously, what you think is lost may not be at all.  I've heard many debates on this, but I have met women who knew the Lord and still ended up working in the adult entertainment business. I know the Lord and have made choices that I am sure others would disagree with, and perhaps some might even question my salvation. But when it comes down to it-- If indeed you are called to "save people," tell me how your communication will effectively allow that to happen? The same goes for the term "Living in darkness."  What you think is darkness may be a safe place for someone and you can't even imagine that. 

But we don't think outside of our boxes; we just embrace this language, often without considering what we must sound like to those within earshot. So, back to that church website I referred to a few moments ago-- what if those whom they were visiting and sharing the love of God within the adult industry decided to check them out and ended up reading that? What do you think they would think? Do you think they would feel respected, cherished, valued, and chosen? I don't. You put a victim label on someone, which is no longer empowering, yet it is what you say you aim to do. 

My baby brother from another mother died two years ago in a hit-and-run accident. The funeral was impressive, for lack of a better word. You see, my little bro hadn't been "attending" a church building in a few years, even though he was raised in a home of undeniable faith. Even though he knew of Jesus and attended church his whole life, was he lost? Had he "forsaken the assembly of fellowship?"   

So many questions were asked by those who loved him deeply because we are selfish. We can't stand the thought that we may never see our beloved again, so we allow fear to set in and shape our thinking about where he might have been with God the night of the accident. Isn't that what we do? We are conditioned to believe that we must look a certain way to get through the pearly gates to be in this club, but that is NOT what Jesus said. The LORD does not look at the things people see. "People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." -1 Samuel 16:7 

My brother loved God, and he loved people. He gave his heart to Jesus as a boy. He may have forsaken what mainstream Christianity calls the "assembly of saints" in the latter years, but my brother was loving people of all walks of life. He was a friend to many. He would lend a hand to anyone in need. He helped to brighten the days of those carrying heavy loads. He enjoyed laughter, and he was a kind soul. He was more like Jesus than most people I know, and I am so thankful for his example in my life. But, oh, the things that SO many said at his funeral were just incredible. It left me without any doubt that my brother was not lost. Here's my bottom line. Love God, love others.   

L O V E without agenda-- BE & GO! Meet people where they are. Please get to know them. Ask about their dreams. Find things you have in common and make a connection. Be a friend. 

No agenda. 

Love God. 

Love others. 

That's it. Simple.