Graceless Government

I never saw this day coming. I find myself pacing back and forth. Pulling out my calculator, looking at my "in-coming" and my "out-going," I close my eyes, knowing that the only way I can even think about buying health insurance before the "affordable" healthcare marketplace closes in 9 days is to ransack my own home of its jewelry and any valuable items to be sold to cover the cost. $15,600.00 for one year is what the government wants from me in exchange for health insurance. Could you deduct $15K from your annual salary and still pay all of your living and housing expenses? I can't.

I opened my safe and pulled out two boxes. One holds a diamond tennis bracelet gifted to me by my adopted grandmother 25 years ago; the other box contains my diamond engagement ring and wedding band, plus various gold rings and bracelets. I thought I would give these jewelry pieces to my grandchildren one day, not selling for pennies on the dollar of their appraised value at a buying event held at a local jewelry store. But I'm lucky. I have valuables to sell. Many are not as fortunate and will work their asses off to have nothing -because one hiccup, illness, or worse, will wipe them out.

My life hasn't been easy. It's been damn hard. But I've survived every day of it. I've worked my ass off since I was 15 years old when I got my first job washing dishes. Later, I worked for less than $3 an hour, waiting tables, and finally, I went to cosmetology school to work in the beauty industry.

I didn't have parents who cared about me or valued education enough to give me one. I got my GED independently and later put myself through college. I chose a nonprofit career path that unfortunately did not offer health benefits, but I was OK with that because my then-husband had employee benefits that covered both of us.

After my divorce, 13 years later, I bought into a health-share that wasn't worth a damn for all the money I put out for it. I also had (and still do) a concierge doctor (who prefers the term "direct primary care doctor"), but in 2021, my almost twenty-year career came to a sudden halt. I no longer had a full-time income, and I could purchase health insurance for the first time in my single adult life.

Are you following me here? I worked my whole life—no affordable benefits—stopped working, and boom—benefits.

During this time, medical tests discovered that I had multiple tumors on my reproductive organs that just kept getting bigger, so both I and my doctors agreed that I needed a hysterectomy. But guess what? The government had locked down almost everything due to the Covid virus. The hospital only scheduled EMERGENCY surgeries, and mine didn't qualify. Wow.

During my year-long journey without full-time income, I landed a few part-time freelance jobs, and thankfully, the bank that held my mortgage worked with me to not lose my home— but I got behind on EVERYTHING. I had a boatload of medical debt from a previous (non-covered by health share) mold poisoning that caused a polymicrobial blood pathogen disease, so every test, every treatment, every scan, every bloodwork, all out of pocket. I ran up credit cards, and I'll be honest— I used them for almost everything! Medical Appointments, treatments, prescriptions, supplements, gas, groceries, dog food, and trips to the vet. I got in way over my head. But the government will offer you a handout when you have little or no income. So I had health insurance that I paid $200 a month for, but it was useless because that same government shut everything down because of Covid.

In 2022, I landed a full-time job, which I was so grateful for, but because of the company's size, they didn't (still don't) offer health plans. So, I let "the marketplace" know my income changed (this is a stipulation when you sign up), and my insurance cost went up. They don’t ask if you have a mortgage payment, housing costs, car insurance, bills, or if you buy groceries. They just look at youe income.

I kept the insurance even at a higher cost because I knew I needed surgery— but guess what? Hospitals were still following this "COVID rule" in 2022!! By the end of 2022, when 1099s and W2s were sent out, I got one from Healthcare dot gov for my healthcare costs. But guess what? They had not documented my income correctly. I had no idea. I reported it, and my rate went up, so how would I know they made a mistake? Guess what I got? A TAX BILL FOR OVER $4000.00!!!!!!!!!! What a great way to go into 2023! And guess what this did? It forced me to cancel my health insurance because instead of $850 a month, they now wanted almost $1200 monthly for insurance.

I've been uninsured for all of 2023— praying that I could get myself in a better place and that once I paid off some of my debt, I could purchase health coverage again.

In June of 2023, I started bleeding. I'm 56 years old, so this is not a good sign. My doctor wanted to do a transvaginal ultrasound. $$$. The last one I did at Beebe ( a health care monopoly on the eastern shore of Delaware ), they charged the insurance company over $2500, and guess who had to pay co-insurance on that? Yep— me. And now here I was supposed to do another one out of pocket 100%? There is just no getting ahead.

The new ultrasound shows that I still have growths in my uterus and a possible mass on my right ovary. My endometrium band is 13cm, which I am told is alarming, and my doctor cannot rule out endometrium cancer. So now, the urgency for the hysterectomy is even greater than before.

And here I am… pacing the floor of my mind, thinking how to do it all.

HOW TO DO IT ALL.

It's too much.

Americans are tired. We are tired of working our asses off, but someone who comes to America on a boat, plane, or by foot has more benefits (and rights) than we do. The government is supposed to work for us. Here’s my PSA: 98% of politicians are a joke. I don’t believe they care about anything or anyone but themselves.

I've seen absolutely NOTHING good come from the current administration.

Our country is a MESS.

The government has no equality for working Americans. It's always equality for the non-working, whether American or (insert native of any country).

The US Government has all kinds of mercy for the lazy, the unemployed, and non-citizens.

Here's a fun story (insert sarcasm).

In 2021, my mother, a hairdresser her whole life who never paid into unemployment, was granted unemployment benefits from the state AND a $ 600-a-week unemployment check from the FEDERAL government.

That same year, I lost my 18-year nonprofit career. I was entitled to $0 in unemployment benefits because the nonprofit I worked for was not required to pay into unemployment insurance, and by the time I lost my job, the federal unemployment money had run out anyway.

Again— no grace— no mercy. The kicker is that my mother was living in my basement apartment then. She was making bank while I was on my knees praying not to lose my home. That's another rabbit trail I better not go down right now.

I'm tired.

This is not poor pitiful me, I work my ass off for anything and everything I have. This is about MORE than just me.

Americans like me who have worked their ass off their whole life are TIRED.

I will never be able to retire—- but at the rate my health is going, I may not make it to retirement age anyway.

As I was about to close this writing, the news announced that Joe Biden had just canceled another FIVE BILLION dollars of debt for college students. A free pass on their student loans. WOW. Just freaking wow.

I PAID MY WAY! No handouts!

The US Government has no grace for those who pay to keep it going. We pay so they can do for others who don't contribute to the system (non-US citizens), those who freeload and work the system, or those who simply got lucky because of the government's frivolous handouts.

I said what I said.